Do’s
Positive Preparation Read a book together about starting school
Join a Play Group
Ask for Orientation
Choose the right pace for your child
Have a contingency plan
Postpone starting
Favourite toys and dummies
Build and maintain trust
Maintain communication
Keep the routine at home
Forming Friendships
Don’ts
Don’t give up too early
Don’t make school a negative experience
Don’t show your own anxiety
Do’s
Positive Preparation
Talk about school positively to your toddler. Emphasise the fun they will have, the interesting things they will do and the new friends they will make. Show your child photos of the school and the teacher and of course take them on a visit to the school.
Read a book together about starting school
This list from About.com is worth looking at for ideas on suitable books.
Join a Play Group
You may want to join a Parent and Toddler group as a starting point. This will allow you to observe how your child copes in a group setting and will give you both confidence for starting at Preschool.
Ask for Orientation
Make sure your kindergarten has arranged an orientation session for both you and your child.
Choose the right pace for your child
Let the first days be guided by your child. Remember that you know your child best. If your child is confident and independent then starting school maybe straightforward and they may start without even a backward glance. For other children you should be prepared to start slowly and perhaps only leave them a school for a hour a day and start with 2-3 days a week. At Preschool or Kindergarten you have the luxury of taking things slowly – primary schools have different expectations as the children are older.
Have a contingency plan
Leave your mobile number with the teacher and ask them to get in touch via SMS / call to let you know what is happening. Don’t be upset if your child needs too home early.
Postpone starting
Sometimes toddlers, despite everyone’s best efforts, are not ready and it is best to delay entry for a couple of months. Good kindergartens acknowledge this and will allow for a deferred entry without parents incurring financial loss. Remember it is your choice when your toddler starts – there is no right or wrong age to start.
Favourite toys and dummies
If your toddler has a comfort object then bring it along to school.
Build and maintain trust
Make sure you say goodbye and let them know that you will be coming back. Sneaking away doesn’t work and will be counterproductive.
Maintain communication
Maintain good communications with the school and the classroom teacher. They will help provide advice and give options to help your toddler settle in. A good parent-teacher partnership is one of the most important success factors in helping your child to settle.
Keep the routine at home
If you are a new arrival to Singapore your child has already had a huge deal of change to cope with, for young children it is really important to make sure that your child has settled into Singapore life and that your home life has gone back into it’s natural rhythm of routine ( bedtimes, dinnertimes playing etc) before you embark on settling your child into a new school. Of course some parents will not be able to do this – but bear in mind the additional time that is likely to be required
Forming Friendships
Try and meet other parents and have playdates with children from the same class to help your child form some friendship groups outside of school hours.
Don’ts
Don’t give up too early
Try different approaches and be prepared to try other things and be guided by the teacher. Sometimes is does work if you step back from the process.
Don’t make school a negative experience
Don’t use school as a punishment or talk negatively about school.
Don’t show your own anxiety
The chances are your toddler will pick up on their parents’ anxiety. Parental anxiety is very normal especially if it is your first child and you have spent the last 2-3 years looking after them on a full-time basis. It will take you time to build trust with your child’s class teacher.
Whatever your approach, I wish you good luck in your first days and weeks as your toddler settles into their new preschool. And if it takes a bit longer than you hoped for remember that each child is different but they do all settle in the end. A good parent teacher partnership is one of the most important success factors.